So it's Saturday evening and you're stood on the platform of Cambridge station at 7:25pm after attending the MHP Chat meet, waiting for the next train to London Kings Cross.
You've got a few minutes to spare, and you haven't eaten since around two o'clock.
You've also had just enough beer to be open to suggestion to do rather odd things that you certainly wouldn't do if you'd had one pint less.
There is a vending machine on the platform which dispenses McCain chips. You try it.
Hot chips in 45 seconds it says. £1.20 it says. You feed your money in the slot and wait.
The tiny display counts down the second, continually updating you on your chips programmes. "In hot oil" it says at one point, followed by something to do with hot air. 20 seconds to go.
Train starts pulling in. 15 seconds to go.
A largish white cup falls down. 8 seconds to go.
You try pulling it out - the train is on the platform a bit further down. There's nothing in the cup. 5 seconds to go.
Right on the last second, the chips fall in, but you've not put the cup back in properly so some fall into the little tray at the bottom. You pull out the cup, grab a sachet of salt, and run for your train, boarding just in time.
You sit at the seat and sample this odd purchase.
The chips are certainly hot - not too hot though. In shape, they're thing and long - like the style of fries you get in fast food outlets.
Are they tasty? Well they're alright. Just like any other pre-cut chip that's been bunged in the fridge or freezer and then plunged into hot oil.
Certainly not the best chips in the world by any means. Some at the bottom of the cup were slightly rubbery, but most were fine.
One thing they're not is filling. But then fast food never is. Overall, not the best chip in the world, but no where near the worst.5 out of 10.
The McCain chip vending machine is on platform 1 of Cambridge Station and costs £1.20 if you're wierd enough to try it. There are some more Apparently, but I ain't creating a list...