In The Way

Posted on 29 July 2003 in Life, London (No comments)

Wendy put it better than I could ever do.

"Lesson #1 of London - wherever you are, you are IN THE WAY."

Appropiate quote as earlier today I had a headache caused by "being in the way".

It's lunch time, I've just left Greggs. I'm stood at the pedestrian crossing. I stand for a few seconds staring ahead at the empty traffic island ahead of me and realise that there is no traffic nearby. I look up the road to check it's safe to cross. All is quiet and calm. I walk out.

BANG. Right into someone walking right in front of me, in the opposite direction.

Naturally I appologised, despite the fact that he had walked straight into me. Naturally this is a mistake. In London you never appologise as this man demonstrated admirably. Instead you walk up the road tutting loudly and shaking your head. It's about ettiquette you see.

Now maybe I should have made sure I looked completely ahead (well my headache tells me I should have), but as I wasn't expecting someone to walk from an empty traffic island to right in front of me, I didn't.

Even so, it's not as if he had to walk into me. The pavement next to the crossing was completely empty. It's not as if he couldn't have spotted me - I had been standing in exactly the same place for around 30 seconds waiting to cross. He had not even been at the traffic island in the middle of the road when I arrived on the scene.

But obviously I was in the wrong. I should never have dared get in his way, and should have read his mind completely and known he needed to get to exactly the spot I was standing in.

To whoever that man is, I humbly appologise for my complete inability to second guess you. I humbly apologise for making you tut loudly. And I humbly apologise for being an impolite, ignorant and rude idiot. I will bow down and use your example as the model for my life. It's obviously the way to go.

Now then... OI! YOU! Pregant woman! What do you think you're doing? Get out of my tube seat! Idiot!

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