How to succeed in job interviews

Posted on 26 April 2005 in Work (No comments)

What with redundancies and things, you may be surprised to find out that there aren't that many promotion opportunities for a hip, young, trendy dude like me (will you just stop laughing, PLEASE!)

But none the less I keep my eyes on the jobs- see what's going down. And lo, there was one, bright and shiny..

Funnily enough it's in the same department as a job I recently had an interview for.

Which cunningly means that if I went for the job, I'd probably be interviewed by the same people. Which means I could be really cunning and bore then to death telling them all about page numbers and re-brands for the second time in two months!

Of course I didn't get the job last time, so what could I do two months on that would be the winning result? Well in a conversation with friends, I was told the winning plan would be to go in and do the exact opposite of everything I'd done before.

Is that a plan or what?! It's so obvious. All I have to do is:

  1. look totally disinterested and bored
  2. be drunk
  3. have really bad stubble
  4. swear and insult the people interviewing me
  5. answer every question with a one word answer
  6. take a pizza into the interview room cos its lunchtime
  7. wear a suit and tie

Victory is assured!

That said, I'm not totally convinced by 6. I've never owned a suit in my life, and I wasn't intending to buy one now.

Funnily enough this conversation took place in a pub (how did you guess) over a few pints (ditto) and we'd already had a couple (says hello to Mr Stating-the-obvious 2005) but I still think we might have been onto something....

However I'm afraid I don't intent to try it out on this occasion - the application form won't be filled in for my details.

I ain't wearing a suit for anyone.

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