How to succeed in job interviews
What with redundancies and things, you may be surprised to find out that there aren’t that many promotion oppertunities for a hip, young, trendy dude like me (will you just stop laughing, PLEASE!)
But none the less I keep my eyes on the jobs- see what’s going down. And lo, there was one, bright and shiny..
Funnily enough it’s in the same department as a job I recently had an interview for.
Which cunningly means that if I went for the job, I’d probably be interviewed by the same people. Which means I could be really cunning and bore then to death telling them all about page numbers and rebrands for the second time in two months!
Of course I didn’t get the job last time, so what could I do two months on that would be the winning result? Well in a conversation with freinds, I was told the winning plan would be to go in and do the exact opposite of everything I’d done before.
Is that a plan or what?! It’s so obvious. All I have to do is:
- look totally disinterested and bored
- be drunk
- have really bad stubble
- swear and insult the people interviewing me
- answer every question with a one word answer
- take a pizza into the interview room cos its lunchtime
- wear a suit and tie
Victory is assured!
That said, I’m not totally convinced by 6. I’ve never owned a suit in my life, and I wasn’t intending to buy one now.
Funnily enough this conversation took place in a pub (how did you guess) over a few pints (ditto) and we’d already had a couple (says hello to Mr Stating-the-obvious 2005) but I still think we might have been onto something….
However I’m afraid I don’t intent to try it out on this occassion - the application form won’t be filled in for my details.
I ain’t wearing a suit for anyone.
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