Hello and welcome to The Mailbag. Every issue we delve into our big sacks of letters, pick a few, type them out, and ridicule their authors... sorry, answer any comments, corrections or criticisms. Boy, my English teacher would be - (eh? - Ed.)
I read the article in the last issue, entitled 'The Lowest Form of Wit?'. For the record Cath, I can think of the following, other forms of wit: irony and innuendo.
Perhaps the best example of innuendo is on the Mark Radcliffe show, on Radio One FM. It's one for the fans of alternative music, poetry, live music and comedy, and features someone called Lard.
M Radcliffe, The Palace of Glittering Delights, Manchester
Looks a bit suss this one. Bit like just a complete plug for some blokes radio show. And how the hell did he get a copy of Hydra in the first place? Still it's a great show, and it has Mark Lammar and Katie Pukrick on frequently, so it can't be bad.
Reading through your last issue, I noticed (being a rather sad person) that a new name has arrived in Hydra, namely Bods. Isn't he just fantastic? He has a totally unique style, not found anywhere else. Can you tell me more about him? And print a picture?
Sally Paterson, Kingston-upon-Thames
Yes, I am rather great aren't I? Now there's a modest man for you. Anyway, enough flattery please! (Like I really mean it!)
My name is Andrew Paul Bowden, I live in a house in Newton (that's a suburb of Hyde for the thick of you), am 17, and, of course, am incredibly sexy.
I couldn't be bothered getting John Dunlop to scan in a picture of me, so I found this great pic of someone who looks just like me! Pretty close resemblance, I think. Well I can dream, can't I?
I have read every issue since I started here at Hyde, and I want to write for the magazine. What do I do?
M Adeup, Glossop
If we haven't told you enough times this issue... What you do is write an article. Give it to Dr Bhatia, myself, or someone else involved. Alternatively you can come along to the meetings every Wednesday, B26 at 12:30. If you really want, you can just leave your article in B26 before we arrive, but we don't bite you know.
Is it me or is your magazine's name rather sad?
R Bushell, Ashton
It's you. And you're very sad yourself.
Every magazine should have a letters page... Even if they don't get any letters...
By the way, in true Guardian style, some text was missing. Can you spot it?