The Student Cookbook

For many, this September will be the birth of a new life for them. They will be leaving home and heading for one of those strange institutions, a university.

Interestingly enough, most people in Scotland and Wales stay at home when they attend University. Only the English offspring are stupid enough to leave the comforts of home and enter life living in what can best be described as a broom cupboard with a bed in it.

Neverless, every year many leave home. And knowing that many of you can't even cook, yet alone iron, hoover or even make the bed, I thought I'd pass some tips in the first category: cooking.

If you can't cook, your going to be in a bit of bother, especially if you've decided it would be a better move to go into self catering rather than the expensive meal service provided in some halls.

So here goes. The recipe for a simple, and apparently typical student meal: beans on toast.

First get a can of beans and some bread. The bread should be sliced, but if it is uncut, you will need to cut it. This is done using a sharp knife, and not one you'd use to eat your sausage and egg with.

Open the can of beans. For this, you may need to buy a tin opener. Read the instructions of use carefully. Next, pour the beans into a pan, and put on a medium heat, i.e. not red hot, and not stone cold, but somewhere in-between.

If you are lucky to have a toaster with you, put the bread in, and wait until it is completely charred, black and disgusting. Meanwhile, stir the beans occasionally, and after about five minutes, take the pan off.

Take the toast, and put it on a plate. Pour the beans onto the toast. Viola. Congratulations, you have made your first meal as a student. You are now likely to live off this meal for the next three to four years.

The Student Cookbook by Bods, is available now from Webron Publishing, priced 15.99.

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